


Sorrowing, Sighing, Bleeding, Dying

by cinnamontoffee



Category: Tales of the Abyss
Genre: Crying, Emotional Hurt, Gen, i have no clue if there is any comfort, jade being the replacement dad for luke, luke says fuck, mentions of guy and tear, spoilers for tales of the abyss, talking about death
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-25
Updated: 2020-12-25
Packaged: 2021-03-11 04:28:35
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,214
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28309032
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/cinnamontoffee/pseuds/cinnamontoffee
Summary: Luke finds himself unable to sleep after the events at the Tower of Rem.
Relationships: Jade Curtiss & Luke fon Fabre
Comments: 2
Kudos: 11





	Sorrowing, Sighing, Bleeding, Dying

**Author's Note:**

> Secret santa for Twitter user n0itceffa.
> 
> Merry Christmas Zyria!! I got you for Anti Bamco's secret santa and it was actually a bit hard writing this due to it being during the game itself, but I had fun writing and exploring this! I hope you enjoy it and have a great day!

_I really am going to die, huh._

Luke kept himself awake in the middle of the night, staring up at the ceiling above. Guy's snoring in the adjacent bed did not help comfort him, and neither did the slow rise and fall of Mieu's body, rather, they made him feel worse. The thought of disappearing after finally wanting to live hurt the replica badly. His body shook, preventing him from sleeping, and he felt as though if he were to sleep now, his fonons may separate when he did not feel it, the reality scared him. Luke couldn't take it anymore, and sneaked outside of the room into the inn of Belkend's lobby. He passed the room where the girls were staying in, and his mind shifted to Tear, and how he had been grateful that she did not know his fate, not like she would cry when he dies, anyway. The fireplace crackled in the near-empty room, Luke made his way to the closest chair to the fire, wishing to feel comfort in its warmth. He took his seat, buried his face in his hands and sighed.

"You're not one to be up so late." The redhead groaned once he heard Jade's voice behind him. All he wanted was solitude and some time to reflect, but the necromancer had just ruined it.

"And I had been hoping that I'd be alone." The older man pulled a chair a few feet away from him and took a seat, joining in staring at the fire. The redhead had opened his mouth to protest against company, but found himself unable to find the words to use, Jade noticed and his flat expression dampened.

"You seem tense, is it about earlier?"

_"How the HELL was he able to tell?!"_ Luke failed to respond, sinking his head lower into his hands, his face felt hot and heavy, he couldn't cry here, he needed to be strong so the others could be strong too. He refused to answer, his heart had begun to pound and the dark thoughts in his mind echoed louder and louder.

"It's from the events at Rem, isn't it."

"....Yeah." The replica gave a muffled response, trying his hardest to hide his sniffling.

"Again, I'm sorry that you had to do that." Jade's eyes dropped to the floor in guilt. Luke dragged his hands out of his face, unaware that his hands and face had been moist from tears, and his green eyes had turned a pinkish red. The necromancer felt a tinge of pain from watching the younger man in despair, his guilt eating away at his conscience.

"It's not fair. Why did I finally want to live when I'm about to die? If I were to die from my fonons separating, I could have done that at the Tower of Rem! Now I have to slowly die in front of my friends with a smile on my face, which makes it hurt even more than the physical pain I'm already in."

_"I'm sorry."_

"It was unfair enough that Tear was dying when we were lowering the Outer Lands, it was unfair that Ion had to die because Mohs threatened Anise, and it's unfair that I can't finally get to live! I'm scared of dying, I'm terrified and everytime I think of it, it fucking hurts!"

_"I'm sorry."_

"I want to spend the rest of my life with my friends when it's all over, I want to be able to have my own life, I just want to live like anyone else, but here I am, doomed to a limited amount of time while watching my friends get to live on."

"Luke."

"I hate this feeling of helplessness, I feel like a burden when everyone else is already hurting, and them knowing that I'll disappear would be the icing on the cake. I-I just-" Luke broke down, coughing and heaving from his pain. While Jade could not feel as much of the raw emotion that the redhead expressed, his face turned into a frown, he got up from his seat and walked over, pulling his comrade up.

"No matter how many times I say sorry, I can't take your pain away, believe me it hurts to watch you suffer and I wish there were another way, but I empathize with you." The necromancer opened his arms to allow Luke to hold him, which the younger man had accepted.

"I'm sorry, I hate looking like this."

"Just don't tell anyone about this."

"Once you keep my condition a secret, especially from Tear."

"I promise." Luke detached himself and wiped his face, sniffling and shaking.

"Go rest, you must have already been tired from neutralizing the miasma. We prepare to move out again tomorrow."

"...Thanks, Jade, for everything." The necromancer couldn't bring himself to respond as the replica made his way back to his room, his stride had become considerably slower and clumsier. He seated himself in the previously occupied chair, removed his glasses and covered his face with his hands. Deep inside, he had been in pain, too. He felt at fault for Luke's suffering, and for Van's actions, he should have the power to make all the pain stop, but he didn't, his biggest regret of all in the creation of fomicry.

~

"I thought you would be with Tear right now."

"Well, she went back to sleep, she looked very tired." Luke smiled softly, reminiscing of waking up to Tear's sleeping face. Jade chuckled and nodded happily before fixing his glasses.

"So, how do you feel?"

"I feel, great, healthy, warm, it's hard to describe, really. I'm just happy to be back." The redhead replied, giving an exasperated stretch. He had only returned from Lorelei the night before in Tataroo Valley, as if summoned by Tear's singing. Once he had proved who he was, Tear had all but jumped into his arms and cried in front of him for the very first time, followed by Guy, Natalia, Anise and Mieu rushing to see him once more. His return to Baticul during his coming of age ceremony surprised many, but his mother happily accepted that her son was home, safe and alive. After a long banquet celebrating his return, Luke and Tear had slipped away into his room to get away from the tiring and overwhelming amount of people, sitting on the bed before Tear claimed that she had been tired and drifted off to sleep, joined by her favourite redhead shortly after. Their friends had been searching for them after their absence for two hours, only to find them asleep in Luke's bed. Understanding that both were finally getting the rest they deserved, Guy had suggested to leave them be.

"You do know that you'll have to get a thorough examination very soon, right?"

"Yeah, I know, I myself want one too, see if I can live normally for once."

"I've arranged with some doctors in Belkend to get you examined, and run a few tests as well, they'll be ready for you by the end of the week." Jade fixed his glasses and proceeded to walk away.

"Hey, Jade?" Luke stopped him.

"Yes?"

"...Thanks again, for everything."

Jade turned around and gave a very genuine smile, "I'm glad to have you back, Luke."


End file.
